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 101
Reasons Why YOU are a Dork
by Miah and
Mr.X, The Man With a Thousand Faces
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1 |
You feel like MacGyver when you
tape up your glasses. |
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2 |
You debate with your friends about how ____could beat
____’s ass. |
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3 |
You rest your dinner plate on
your lap because the kitchen table is completely covered with your lego
castle. |
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4 |
When you start your car, you scream
“Thunderbirds are Go!” |
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"Dorks ho!" |
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5 |
You wear your “Hudson Hawk” t-shirt on dates. |
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6 |
You still play Dragon Warrior III for the Nintendo…
but have yet to beat it! |
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7 |
You slide the back of headphones over your eyes and
pretend you’re Jordi LaForge. |
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8 |
You know the difference between DDR RAM and SD RAM. |
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9 |
You know that a 14 THACO character could never kill
another character with an armor class of –9. But that anyone can
kill a Kobolb! |
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10 |
You have every issue of “ROM, Spaceknight”. |
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"Rom's nipples... tingling..." |
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11 |
You have heard of “ROM, Spaceknight”. |
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12 |
You complain while watching “Harry Potter” that
“that never happened in the book!” |
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13 |
Your favorite movie is “Tron”. |
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14 |
You can define the difference between Goblins and
Hobgoblins. And Orcs. |
|
15 |
You are shocked that William Shatner has never won an
Oscar. |
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Jipped |
|
16 |
When your girlfriend seductively says “let’s
role-play”, you run for the dice and “Dungeon Masters Guide”.
Wait… girlfriend?!!? |
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17 |
Look in the mirror! |
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18 |
When you shave you always seem to miss random patches
of hair on your neck. |
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19 |
You set your phaser on stun. |
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20 |
“When in doubt, use the deflector shield!” |
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21 |
You have “Mazes and Monsters” on DVD |
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22 |
You think the “Comic Book Guy” from the Simpsons
is cool. |
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23 |
If you are wearing any kind of movie related clothing |
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24 |
Hey, you know that scar on Harry Potter’s forehead?....
You’re a dork! |
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25 |
Identify the following. You get 1 point for each,
check bottom for score. |
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 |
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0:I’m sorry,
you’re still a dork.
1-3: Yes, that’s right: you’re a dork!
4:
good job. You rule. You big dork!
And if you got them all… You’re a dork! |
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26 |
If you have any comic book swimsuit issue |
|
27 |
You found this web page while searching for naked
pictures of Kelly Clarkson and/or “midget nookie” |
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28 |
You have ever watched more than, say, 12
episodes of Star Trek |
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"A sex life? Highly illogical!" |
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29 |
You have ever watched Star Trek: Voyager |
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30 |
You have “Dungeons and Dragons” on DVD |
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31 |
You subscribed to “Wizard” magazine thinking it
would show you new spells |
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32 |
You subscribed to “Wizard” magazine. |
|
33 |
If you have ever dressed as a Star Wars/Star Trek
character for Halloween |
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34 |
You still dress up for Halloween |
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35 |
You still dress up... and it's
not even Halloween! |
|
36 |
You record your own trampoline wrestling matches and
spend weeks editing them with voiceovers and special effects |
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37 |
You know anagrams for EVERYTHING |
|
38 |
You spend all your time in the Science Fiction/Fantasy
section of Barnes and Noble |
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39 |
“Stage lights flashing/the feeling’s
smashing…”
........................You’re a DORK!!! |
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40 |
Who’s hotter: Mary- Jane
Watson- Parker or Gwen Stacey?
You’re a DORK! |
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41 |
You can name every Pokemon |
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42 |
You know what the whole 42 thing is about. |
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43 |
You spent more money on “Magic, the Gathering”
cards then you ever did on deodorant |
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44 |
Your best friends are the cast of “Friends”
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45 |
Okay, so you know the Lone Gunmen on “The
X-Files”? That’s what you and your friends look like to women. |
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46 |
Tell me how Phoenix became Dark Phoenix… then cry in
the corner. |
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47 |
Superman is to ___________
(answer: kryptonite)
as Self
respecting women are to _____________
(answer:you) |
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"You! You are ugly!" |
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48 |
You got THIS FAR? YOU ARE A DORK! |
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49 |
If you own a single episode of “The Prisoner.” |
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50 |
You have a “Xena: Warrior Princess” desktop theme. |
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51 |
Your band in high school began with the word
“marching.” |
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52 |
You have seen and can quote every episode of the “Simpsons”. |
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53 |
If you feel angry when you read poor reviews of
“Star Wars: Episode I,” despite the fact that it really did suck. |
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54 |
You understood this list. Sigh. You’re a dork. |
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55 |
You have ever used a message board. |
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56 |
You know what the term ‘MUD’ stands for. |
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57 |
You think “the truth is out there” when the only
real truth is that you are a lonely human being. |
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58 |
Who killed Laura Palmer? Does it matter? You’re a
dork! |
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"She's my cousin..." |
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59 |
You wish Wonder Woman would wind her Lasso of Truth
around your Pole of Love. |
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60 |
Chess is much more than a game to you. |
|
61 |
You buy an extra controller for your PS2 and label it
an “abuse controller.” |
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62 |
You wear bowling shoes instead of sneakers on a daily
basis. |
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63 |
You have a “Starfleet Academy” bumper sticker on
your station wagon. |
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"Thunderdorks are
Go!" |
|
64 |
You think word problems are fun. |
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65 |
“Con” means “convention” to you, not an
illegal act. |
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66 |
Q is more than a letter in the alphabet to you. |
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67 |
You demanded a refund for your Spiderman movie ticket
because Peter Parker shot webs from a hole in his wrists rather than
mechanical web shooters. |
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68 |
You write 101 lists. |
|
69 |
You have ever worn your underwear outside of your
pants. |
|
70 |
Your cat's name is Aslan. |
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71 |
Your dog's name is Chewbacca. |
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72 |
You make your own chain mail. |
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73 |
You have any “Boba Fett” memorabilia in your house |
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"I'll
be home at 5, mom." |
|
74 |
Household decorations include swords, anime wall
scrolls, and action figures. |
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75 |
Three utensils between your fingers turn you into
Wolverine. |
|
76 |
You somehow managed to fail P.E. |
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77 |
When you get on the freeway, you say, "Hit the
light speed, Chewy!" |
|
78 |
When asked your favorite musician, you reply,
"'Weird' Al." |
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79 |
You look like Wierd Al. |
|
80 |
When you hit 65 on the freeway, you stick your arm
out the window and, doing your best X-Wing imitation, imagine your in
a the Death Star trench, attempting to destroy the main reactor with
your photon torpedoes. |
|
81 |
Instead of simply saying 'yes,' you say 'engage' or
'make it so, number 1.' |
|
82 |
Rather than graduate, you get a G.E.D
so that nothing will be in the way of being first in
line for 'Episode 1.' |
|
83 |
Using Photoshop, you make your own Celebrity Nude
Pictures. |
|
84 |
You maintain your own webpage about yourself. |
|
85 |
You believe the terms dork, geek, and nerd are not
derogatory. |
|
86 |
You're worn out after a five minute session of table
tennis. |
|
87 |
You use Latin quotes in conversation. "E
plurubus ureadork." |
|
88 |
The first words you learned in Spanish weren't the
cuss words. |
|
89 |
You look like this: |
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"Check me out!" |
|
90 |
You have always read the book before you see the
movie. |
|
91 |
Your culinary skills are limited to popping
popcorn and boiling ramen water. |
|
92 |
Favorite author: R.A. Salvatore. |
|
93 |
In your spare time you enjoy alphabetizing things. |
|
94 |
Your wall is decorated with quotes by Plato. |
|
95 |
You brag about your stamp collection. |
|
96 |
You draw comic books starring yourself. |
|
97 |
Differentiate Quark, C++, and Linux. Then cry. |
|
98 |
You have a sign on your door
that says "Castle Grayskull" |
|
99 |
Your spider man underwear is so worn it actually
resembles spider webs, webs that cling to your fat hairy ass. |
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"Spidersense
tingling...
...you're a dork!" |
|
100 |
You can "Beat the
Geeks" |
|
101 |
You fantasize about cartoon characters
(Belle, Ariel or Jasmine?) |
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"Holy acne faced loser Batman!" |
