On December 2nd, 1981 a girl was born
in the small town of Kentwood, Louisiana. To some, Kentwood is considered
home, to others Kentwood is the birthplace of a star. Here is the true exposé
of how a pop princess' 6 month break turned into a 6 month mental breakdown.
A mental breakdown indeed.
 I
took a weekend trip to the city of Kentwood, Louisiana to step into the
world where a pop princess was born.
First I contacted The
Louisiana Tourist Welcome Center
-- Kentwood Branch.
Located on Interstate 55,
southbound lane, three miles north of the Kentwood exit. Hours of
Operation: 8:30 -5:00 pm, seven days a week.
985-229-8338
 I
asked them where I could find some Inspiration to begin my long and
twisted journey. They told me to travel 2 1/2 miles west of I-55 exit #61
on LA highway 38. This is where it lead me.
This wasn't very funny. The night before I had only gotten 3 hours of
sleep, having spent it searching for Dr. Shin, who had run off into the woods with a bottle of Jack Daniels in one
hand and part of the door to our R.V. cradled under the other.
I went in search of Mayor Bobby Gill.
But that quickly came to an end. The local police tracked me down, owing to
the behavior of Dr. Shin. I found myself paying a hefty fine in local
damages and never recovered the door for our R.V.
For a town that was focused on
bottled water and a
retirement home as their two main industry strengths, I can easily
see the roots of madness in the young starlet.
I have a suspicion that the bottling
company is where the problem began.
After millions of
records sold, a short movie career, Britney found herself in the
crossroads of a multimillion dollar contract with the Pepsi Cola Bottling
company. But with fame came a toll which forced an early retirement. 6
months away from the entertainment market and 6 heavy months as a
corporate F*ck You to the Pepsi Cola Bottling Company. Suddenly these
shots proved her to test positive for Coke. And Pepsi couldn't have it.
 
To Pepsi, Britney has to
kick the Coke Habit. But instead, they just kicked Britney.
 So
now the young beautiful lead singer of Destiny Child has now landed
herself the job as the corporate happy face of the Pepsi Bottling Company.
Justin Timberlake had
only one thing to say "Cry me a river."
If you find a bent side door to a
1976 20' Far West
Dodge Sportsman
Model # F30
in the Kentwood Louisiana area, please
contact me, at dan@emptyv.org. We
apologize deeply for any unreported damages to any property during our
visit to Kentwood. Dr. Shin has been slowly recovering from
the concussion that he endured during the trip. We thank you
for all the gifts in support of his recovery. |
