(1) Able to accept. Well, let’s see… I can accept someone’s TV from their house without them even knowin’ about it. I am also able to accept more than a bottle and a half of Jack before collapsing.

(2) Having empathy- I not only feel everyone’s pain, I am frequently the cause of it.

(3) Able to let go- When the doctors asked if I wanted to pull the plug on my ma, I didn’t blink an eye. They let that old hag go and I stole all of her medication and had a wild weekend in Vegas on her insurance money. Later, I was  able to let Miah go at the top of a mountain with no guilt at all about him being eaten alive by a big fuckin’ beast…

(4) Being honest with yourself –I enjoy drinking and smoking to excess. I enjoy the company of loose women, getting in bar fights, and stealing. Stealing anything at all.

(5)…And others- Miah’s head is too huge not to laugh at.  Come to think of it, most people are so retarded looking that I have to laugh at them.

(6) Able to commit- I’ve had the same pair of cowboy boots for fifteen years, smoked 60 or more cigarettes a day since I was 15, and make sure to wake up in a stranger’s house on new years every year. And hell, I’m so good at committing that I been married three times! And never divorced! 

(7) Follow through- I always finish what I start. For instance, the 12 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon sitting beside me right now, which should be making my writing more and more sloppy and miserable.

(8) Listen to others- I’ll listen to people’s excuses as to why they’re not paying me back for any loans. But invariably I’ll head butt them anyway. And I’ll listen to Peggy Lee or Johnny Cash records all night.

(9) Love in an un-needy way- I never ask my dog to walk me or feed me. It’s all give, give, give with that mutt.

So I guess my only question is: how emotionally mature is someone who spends their days not “doing anything other than finding characters in the clouds and/or day dreaming about The Smartest Man Alive”. But I suppose, dear lady, that you’ll be about as interested in my drunken diatribes as I am in yours, so I bid you all the best. Fuck it, we’re all doomed anyway.

(drshin@emptyv.org)