Everything That Happened in the Month of September back in 2002

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Since August 30, 2002


The Month of September back in 2002
9-30-02	Cincinnati: Land of the free, home of the... depraved?
	When people speak of crazy cities, your mind immediately draws to names such as New York, Detroit, Los Angeles, Fargo. People don't generally equate "Cincinnati" with anything other than bad football. Alas, there is a darker side to Cincinnati, a deep inner child that's spent way too many years hiding it's ugly face. I plan to show you that face. Let's look at some examples of people that give us the nickname: Sinsinnati. Daniel Beard - This man, born in Cincinnati, was the founder of the Boy Scouts of America. Who else but a sick and twisted person would intentionally create an institution to instill values in young men while at the same time depriving them of contact with females? As a former Boy Scout, I can assure you that my sexual peak was put off by two years from the two months I spent as a scout. Benjamin Harrison and William Howard Taft - TWO presidents? Are we just a breeding ground for the future leaders of America? What's in the water here? It's all of Ohio that's been pounded with this plague of presidents. Now we have streets, counties and schools across the state that will never live down their president's name. So sad. Stephen Spielberg - Need I say more than that? The mind that created such twisted films as Jaws and E.T. found it's roots right here. I don't know how he got the idea for sharks, considering nothing can really live in the Ohio River, but Schindler's List was most certainly not just a Nazi film as everybody thinks, but was actually a grand metaphor and comparison to the rise of Proctor and Gamble. Look at your toothpaste or your laundry detergent or your tampons. One of them was probably made right here in Cincinnati by said company. Dark. Very dark. Larry Flynt - My hero. I have nothing bad to say about this man. As a writer/actor/lazy person, freedom of speech is all I have to cling to sometimes. At least something good came out of Cincinnati, other than... Jerry Springer - Yes, that's right, former Mayor Springer, who now holds cult status as an American icon, wasn't born in Cincinnati, but spent some good time here. It's odd that his own story of writing a check to pay a prostitute could actually make a good episode for his show. Charles Manson - Grew up here in good ol' Cincinnati, but later got a bug in his ass and moved to California to kill people. I think he was tired of the whole "Flying Pig" thing. The list goes on. The madness doesn't end. I could keep writing, but you're probably already bored, so I will make this my farewell for now. Adios from the Queen City, Edge "When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Cincinnati because it's always twenty years behind the times." -- Mark Twain
9-26-02 Part 2	The new guy. and his new assignment
	We might have a new member of emptyv.org once again... it's up to you again... his name is Edge and he lives in Cincinnati, OH. That doesn't sound very exciting... but, I guess his new mission is to find the wackiest and most exciting things you can do in Cincinnati. He will document them... and post them right here. He did write a 101 list please check it out by clicking here. 101 Reasons to Get a Job/Signs you need to get a job
9-26-02	Why I haven't written
	If you haven't noticed that the site hasn't been updated for a very looooong time. That is because I have forgotten to pay my electric bill. Even after I kept receiving those stupid "this is the 15th notice that you haven't paid your electric bill." But one cold and quiet morning I was taking a shower, and the second I stepped out of the shower the lights went out. "Damn..." I thought, "I forgot to pay my electricity." Then about 20 seconds later my door bell rang. I looked off of my balcony and saw down below. At the door were the electric guys, the ones who had just shut off my power. I have one of those battery powered wireless doorbells. But it still kinda concerns me that the electricity people rang my door bell anyways, knowing I have no power. I didn't go to the door. I was still half naked... I promise that I'll try to update even in the worst conditions. Just like the US Mail service.
9-24-02	The Worst Thing Ever
	Today was going to be like every other school day: 1, wake up and find something to cover my body with. 2, drive to UNM. 3, sit through a few classes and day dream about the hot guy in the next row. Then go home and procrastinate about all the useless dribble I have to regurgitate on to three or more pages to get a good grade. But today The worst thing ever happened to me. Instead of waking up to the usual house hold noises, I woke up to my cat. . . puking all over me and my bed. I shit you not. Projectile vomit covered my arm and the surrounding covers. Now, why would any animal do this, unless its ultimate goal was to become little kitty-kabobs? Needless to say, many expletives were shouted at the top of my lungs and the little piece of bile (some call her Fi Fi) was thrown outside. I'm not looking for your pity, this is just a warning. It could happen to you. So next time you are getting along with the little drag-queens of the animal world, just remember, they are plotting against you and your sanity. -Hilly@emptyv.org
9-05-02	EMPTYV Exclusive Interview with Idol Kelly Clarkson
	As many of you who actually cared... The Season Finale of American Idol aired on Wednesday night. Two contestants, one named Kelly Clarkson of Texas and the other Justin Guarini of Pennsylvania, found themselves at the fate of their entire life. Only one question ran through each of their minds that very second before the winner were announced. "Am I going to be the game show washup?" And only one of them walked away with that infamous title. Last night Justin walked away with it in shame and contemplated shooting himself in his hotel bathroom. That's kind of a burden to walk away, knowing more than 8 million 7 hundred thousand people said go home empty handed. I had the pleasure to get the inside scoop for all of our emptyv readers out there. I went straight to the horses mouth. Kelly Clarkson, The woman whom we will all drop to her feet and grovel. Today, I found myself logging online, at work, and my MSN homepage said "in 30 seconds chat online with American Idol winner Kelly Clarkson." I thought, oh boy it's time for half a million internet nerds to kiss her ass for a good thirty minutes. I joined in... The setup went like this... You log in and you don't exactly chat. There is a small button in the corner that reads "Submit a Question." Boy oh, boy! When you submit a question some screen pops up and says. 'The host has received your question, we will make any and all attempt to have your question answered, Due to the number of questions submitted, not all questions will be answered' I'm kinda paraphrasing there, but you get the idea. After sending several descent questions, I kept getting ignored. I asked things like. How is it knowing that you never will go back to the same life you had before? Now, Have you changed your mind on the meaning of life? What's it like knowing 42% of the votes were against you? After I was getting ignored for several minutes, reading others kiss her ass in every other question. "Congratulations Kelly, I knew you were going to win from the beginning, What support have other celebrities given to you?" I decided that it was time to get brutal. Don't you wish people were more like Simon and spoke what they believed rather than kissed your ass, the instant you have been given the "famous" title? Do you hate prostituting yourself for fame? Are you the devil? I began to notice the only questions that were answered were the ones that kissed her ass. So I said fuck it... I was just about to end the chat room and say "good bye one hit wonder." I sent in one more question. They chose it, and it was answered. Boy, Oh Boy! But somehow, I don't really think she got the idea. She never spent anytime thinking the question over, much less actually read it. Click on the picture above and see how she answered my question... I'm disappointed... very disappointed... Is she Idol material? More like a Material Girl.
9-02-02	Altered...
	Modern day America. Someone throws a concert on a rooftop and the police are called. It is eventually shut down. What proposes us to the fact of understanding this piece American culture that attracts penalty in the presence of freedom? Why do we have laws on drugs? Penalties for killing people and destroying others property I can understand but, a loss of freedom on ones right to experiment with different ways to perceive things. Just wrong. What do we need to do to fix our inner dissention? Is there anything that can take us back to true freedom? Have we ever even been close to true freedom? At different times, different freedoms. But will we ever come up with a time when we have a collection of freedoms that will somewhat resemble total freedom? Trial by total chance. Its time the people of the underground re-assess themselves as the true leaders of this world. Yeah right. It's logical, but wont happen. Why? Because we are too afraid. We are too conformed. For the first time ever it is coming a small bit out in the open. Governor Gary Johnson has come out in the open with his logical beliefs of the legalization of drugs. He thinks that most of them should be FDA regulated. I definitely agree. I think the overdose rate would go down significantly. People wouldn’t be doing such stupid things with a little bit of actual help from the government. I mean, I’m sure they would, But at least it would be progression. At least people would know they were screwing themselves up a bit better than a blind guess at how much would fuck them up. Viewing the world in different light is nothing of a bad thing in my opinion. It is a gift. Coming 5 seconds from death is truly a gift. This is the only way to truly view the world. The problem is we forget. And unfortunately society teaches us that forgetting is good. We are taught to be in the lull of life without recollection of death. One day perhaps...funny how all of my commentary seems to end with that. One day perhaps we'll realize our own stupidity. Realize that it's o.k. To be out of body for the purpose of enlightenment.